Little Person, Big World

Riding in the car with my sister and mom to Chino, I noticed a blue sign on a silver Mercedes that read "LITTLE PEOPLE ON BOARD." I was immediately excited at the prospect, because I rarely see midgets, particularly driving! I'm always curious. I mean, do they have some sort of lever and pulley system to work the pedals? Can they handle a manual shift? Do they have special seats? I always see this sign on my cars that says no one under 4'10 or under 90 pounds should be in the front. My mind worked faster than it ever had trying to figure all this out. At last, I was finally getting the answer to my question, and I could taste it as I peered over the door to see the answer to this mystery of life.

There, in the backseat, sat what appeared to be a twelve year old little blond girl, being driven by her very full-grown father. All of a sudden my curiosity turned to anger. I don't see the right that this little girl has to earn that sign. She looks way past five feet, certainly not little. At 22 years old, I am an inch under that height. If there's going to be any kind of accident, shouldn't she be the one to get hit? She's in a Mercedes so she's already got the safety advantage. Plus, she looks as if she's on her way to soccer practice, and the muscle mass I've got is equivalent to that muscle mass on our Chihuahua. There is no reason why I would choose to save her over me, besides that fact that I love me, and I would hate for me to die.

Stewing away in the backseat, I look around at our car, full of other very short people, and within seconds I'm completely convinced that the sign is on the wrong car.

My first time...

When I sat to write my first blog entry, I decided against writing about just that. But, in the course of events, I changed my mind, and I credit my laptop for aiding me in making that decision.

About an hour before I go to sleep, the laptop inevitably gets to that point before I do, and everything I try - shutting it and reopening it, plugging it in, holding down the power button - doesn't seem to work. After about half an hour of alternately pleading with, yelling at, and reasoning with it, it still just sits there like a tupperware dish full of spokes and nails and whatever they make laptops out of. I don't know what goes in a computer, but if soemone was building one and put a bike chain in there, I wouldn't think anything of it. I would feel enlightened at that point. Then I could tell other people about where the bike chain goes in the laptop, and subsequently mistranslate their looks of bewilderment as admiration of my ever expanding genius. 

The laptop, sans bike chain (maybe), sits idling on my desk. The next half hour is spent staring at the power light. It seems as if the light lets out an intermittent soft glow here, but it's late at night, and I'm thinking that my eyes are just telling me that it's glowing to let me know that there is some sign of life in my computer.  Either way, I end up writing my first blog not on my computer, but on the back of my grocery list which is the only piece of scrap paper I have nearby. 

It's at that point that the Apple ad comes on TV to mock me in its colorful splendor, and I'm just staring at my my computer waiting for it to die.